The Press Posted in the Tribune Times

Funny news, trivia news, ironic news, sarcastic news and news news.

Anglican leader urges ban on gay bishops

leave a comment »

Canterbury Archbishop Rowan Williams claiming that he's fed up with being compared and/or confused with Rowan Atkinson

Canterbury Archbishop Rowan Williams stating that he's fed up with being less famous than Rowan Atkinson.

Canterbury, England, August 3rd, 2008, (Reuters).- The spiritual leader of the world’s Anglicans, Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, urged church leaders Sunday not to consecrate any other gay bishops for now, as he ended the Lambeth Conference, a once-a-decade Anglican assembly that was dedicated to preventing schism in the troubled fellowship.

In a complete depart from the assembly format, Williams accepted a question-answer format to express his views on the ordenance of gay bishops.

Q: Why doest thou oppose the ordenance of even one single gay priest?
A: A little one shall become a thousand, and a small one a strong nation.

Q: What ist thy opinion of gay men recurring to masturbation as a substitute for homosexual relations?
A: Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.

Q. Whas ist thy opinion on openly gay American bishop, V. Gene Robinson of New Hampshire?
A; His hand will be against every man, and every man’s hand against him.

Q: What doest thou think is the cause of homosexuality?
A: It is not good that the man should be alone.

Q: What would thou say to people who practice homosexual relationships?
A: Amend thy ways and thy doings.

He also spoke about other topics that were non-homosexuality related.

Q: What doest thou think of the assistance to the Lambeth Conference?
A: It is good for us to be here.

Q: Doest thou consider thyself a leader, a friend, a guidance or an authority?
A: I am made all things to all men.

Q: Why are so few priests in the church now?
A: For many are called, but few are chosen.

Q: How doest thou keep thyself informed on what’s happening in dissident churches?
A: By evil report and good report.

Q: What ist thy opinon on the Iraq war?
A: Destruction cometh; and they shall seek peace, and there shall be none.

Q: Why doest thou think Tony Blair got the United Kingdom involved in the war?
A: Great men are not always wise.

A few years ago, Williams expressed his opinions on homosexuality in a paper called “The Body’s Grace:”

“In a church that accepts the legitimacy of contraception, the absolute condemnation of same-sex relations of intimacy must rely either on an abstract fundamentalist deployment of a number of very ambiguous biblical texts, or on a problematic and nonscriptural theory about natural complementarity, applied narrowly and crudely to physical differentiation without regard to psychological structures.”

No, we didn’t understand it either, but apparently, it might or might not mean that homosexuality is ok.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: