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Beijing 2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony a success

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Amazing, isn't it?

Amazing, isn't it?

Beijing, China, August 8th, 2008, (Reuters).- The 2008 Olympic games at Beijing opened with a Lavish and stunning ceremony, giving China its much waited opportunity to show its splendor to the world.

Thousands of Chinese and foreigners shouted the countdown at the National Stadium, better known as the “bird’s nest.” Several heads of state were also present, with president George W. Bush dominating the scene. Bush will also participate in the shooting event, in the rifle, pistol and shotgun with moving target categories, being the first American president to participate in Olympic games.

The show was dominated by stunning acrobatics, beautiful dances, extraordinary fireworks, and a sea of drums, all used to show the history of China and what can be done with thousands and thousands of people.

The Parade of Nations started with Greece, and finished with China, as is customary. However, the delegation’s usual alphabetic order was changed to Chinese character’s order. Since none of the other delegations knew how to speak, much less write Chinese, they all had to take their word for it.

The Iraqi delegation was finally allowed to participate in the games, after a reversal of a ban from the International Olympics Committee. However, his 4 athlete delegation was composed of 2 Americans, 1 British and 1 Iraqi. The Americans and British were there to ensure the Iraqi athlete’s freedom, although negotiations are in progres for them to leave sometime before the London Olympics.

The Chinese flag bearer, Mao Ying, was accompanied by a child who survived the Nike sweatshops. The child also helped manufacture the sneakers that Ying was using.

The event was closed with Li Ding running around the top of the stadium, suspended by cables. It was just awesome.

Not everything was good news, though.

A terrorist threat was issued by Islamic radical group, Apul Dah Thrigah, composed of about 150 members. The Chinese authorities responded with the arrest of alleged 50,000 members, thwarting the terrorist plot. Chinese Defense Secretary Gun Pao Der, commented, “we can outdo Americans in everything, even war on terror.”

 

Also, Americans had to miss the live opening ceremony. Olympic games rights owner NBC, decided to forego the live transmission and broadcasted it instead on Friday’s prime time. It is rumored that it was all a prank from Bill Gates and internet providers so people had to switch to watch the games on internet.

On another note, Beijing Residents were told to stay home by the local goverment. In some places, the security went as far as locking parks and blocking streets. Local drunken bum, Lao Zi, commented “I have lived in this park since communism improved my life standards, how can they lock me out?”. Beijing mayor, Wai Yu Shao Ting, explained that the measurement was taken to protect the citizens from themselves, “imagine 10,000 millions of Chinese drivers out at the same time, driving home or to a bar or to the stadium. There would be more dead people than the Tiananmen square massacre, which never happened.

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2 Responses

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  1. Hei everybody, Happy Fool’s Day!!!

    Moishe had been single for a long time. One day, he excitedly tells his mother that he’s fallen in love at last and he is going to get married. She is obviously overjoyed.
    Moishe then tells his mother, “Just for fun, Mum, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
    His mother agrees.
    The next day, Moishe brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they all chat for a while. Then Moishe turns to his mother and says, “Okay, Mum. Guess which one I’m going to marry?”
    She immediately replies, “The redhead in the middle.”
    “That’s amazing, Mum. You’re right. How did you know?”
    “I don’t like her.”

    Happy April Fool’s Day!

    Palma

    April 2, 2010 at 2:41 am


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