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Posts Tagged ‘Biden

Two new superheroes come to rescue America: Liberating Liberal and Mega Maverick.

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Washington, D.C., October 8th, 2008, (Reuters).- As of today, America will be safer than ever, as two new

Liberating Liberal and Mega Maverick are here to save the day.

Liberating Liberal and Mega Maverick are here to save the day.

superheroes just came out to defend American economy (from Bush) and attack the terrorists (in Iran).

Liberating Liberal vowed to protect Americans, and in particular middle class Americans and their wallets from evil villians such as Texas Terror and Viceful Vice. His powers include almost instant teleportation, (for example, he can go from St. Louis to Kansas City in a blink), magnetic fields handling, (which he uses to disarm people who cling to their guns) and mind controling (to bend the press’s will his way).

Mega Maverick, on the other hand, is out to attack all those who might give reasonable probability that in the future, they may or may not harm America. His main enemies are Iraqi Iranian and Eevil Eenternet. His powers include force barriers (to protect his sidekick, Hindering Hockeymom), self-cloning (to visit all of his houses at the same time), and immortality (so that he can stay in Iraq for 100 years).

Each of them is accompanied by a sidekick. Liberating Liberal is assisted by Bumbling Biden while Mega Maverick is accompanied by Hindering Hockeymom. Their powers are not as impressive. Hindering Hockeymom has invisibility, which she uses to escape from “gotcha” media and appear only in safe places, while Bumbling Biden does best when he does nothing at all.

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Presidential candidates choose VPs. Palin is chosen as Republican VP.

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Dayton, OH, August 29th, 2008, (Reuters).- In a move that suprised both friends and foes, Republican

Sarah Palin was chosen for the Republican Vice Presidential ticket. Rumors say that she was choses so that viewers would finally be motivated to watch the Republican Ads.

Sarah Palin was chosen for the Republican Vice Presidential ticket. Rumors say that she was chosen so that viewers would finally be motivated to watch the Republican Ads.

candidate for presidency, John McCain announced that Palin will be his vice presidential running mate for the elections.

Palin drew criticism from both Republicans and Democrats, “First, he’s a comedian, not a polititian, second, he’s British,” commented a reporter in the press conference.

“No, no, you little jerk, I mean Sarah Palin, not Michael Palin, you dumbf(expletive)”

“Who?”, asked the assembly unanimously.

Alaska’s governor, Sarah Palin, who happens to be the hottest governor in the US, was asked on what she plans to do as a VP, “As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does everyday.”

John McCain quickly answered that question; “The role of the vicepresident is to break ties in the senate and inquire daily into the health of the president.”

When asked on how he conducted the VP selection process, McCain replied, “Well, basically, it was a google.”

Reporters inquired further if he conducted the google himself, “I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon enough, getting on myself. I don’t expect to be a great communicator, I don’t expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need,” explained the senator.

“Do you use a Mac or a PC?” asked another reporter. “I am illiterate and have to rely on my wife  for all the assistance I can get,” answered the candidate.

The announcement came just a few days after Democratic candidate Barack Obama had announced Joe Biden as his vicepresidential running mate.

“Let me introduce to you the next President, the next VICE president of the United States of America, Joe Biden,” said Obama to an audience at Denver.

In turn, Joe Biden, spoke wonders about the presidential candidate, “I mean you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice looking guy. A man I’m proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States, Barack America!”

When asked on how far he’s taking his message, the Democratic candidate answered “I’ve now been in 57 states, I think one left to go.”