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Posts Tagged ‘First dog

Despite Bush’s promise of a smooth transition, Bush’s First Dog bites reporter.

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Washington, D.C., November 8th 2008, (Reuters).- After the promise of Bush of a smooth

Barney, the incumbent First Dog, speaks about the incident in a press conference. "When it comes to my own safety, I don't need approval of the United Nations."

Barney, the incumbent First Dog, explains the incident in a press conference. "When it comes to my own safety, I don't need approval of the United Nations," he barked.

transition and his pledge to do whatever he can to help the president-elect, Barack Obama, an incident spelled trouble for both teams: Barney, Bush’s First Dog, bit White House reporter Jonathan Black’n’Decker.

Aides of the president on condition of anonymity told the press that Barney had been becoming a rogue lately, and refusing to following orders.

Black’n’Decker interviewed himself about the incident.

“He seemed nice and friendly, but he suddenly became very angry and vicious, much like McCain does. I don’t know what happened to him (the First Dog). It might have been the Republican defeat of last Tuesday, the fact that he’s going to be replaced as First Dog of America or that I had eaten bacon for breakfast and didn’t wash my hands,” Black’n’Decker answered himself to a question he had asked himself about the reasons of the incident.

The White House denied any ill will or bad intentions from the First Dog. “It was just a pre-emptive attack in order to protect the integrity of the First Dog, which then became an effort to liberate Jonathan Black’n’Decker. In any case, we consider it as ‘mission accomplished,'” said White House veterinarian Richard Tubb.

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First task of Obama’s newly appointed Chief of Staff: Help the president-elect select a First Dog.

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Washington, D.C., Nov, 7th, 2008 (Reuters).- Obama’s first choice of staff as president-elect was to

Despite his status as the war hero who shot down the Red Baron of Germany, Snoopy was disqualified for his closeness to McCain.

Despite his status as the war hero who shot down the Red Baron of Germany, Snoopy was disqualified because of his closeness to McCain.

select a Chief of Staff. He reached out to Rep. Rahm Emanuel, a congressman representing Illinois.

Now, Emanuel is charged with the most pressing issue of the post-election transition: Selecting the White House’s First Dog.

There are several criteria for selecting the First Dog, according to the guidelines that the president-elect gave Emanuel.

a) It has to be hypoallergenic because his daughter is hypochondriac.

b) He’d rather have a shelter dog, but the problem is that shelter dogs are usually mutts, like Obama. If possible, he’d rather have a purebreed, like Michelle.

c) It can’t be a pitbull.

d) If it’s a female, it can’t wear lipstick and it will be operated in order to avoid the female dog getting suddely pregnant.

Several dogs have been sending their résumés to Emanuel’s office, including Kripto, Scooby-Doo, Rin Tin Tin, Lassie and the whole litter of 101 Dalmatians, in the hopes of being chosen as First Dog.

In another news, Obama also answered a reporter during a press conference, who asked him if he had spoken to previous presidents.

“I have spoken with all living presidents,” the president-elect replied, “It’s kinda hard to speak with the ones who have already died. I didn’t want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing seances, but I might if I ever feel like asking Franklin Roosevelt for ideas for a New New Deal.”