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Posts Tagged ‘México

Palin, from the Palin-McCain ticket, takes a fast course in world leaders with REAL world leaders. “More fun than wikipedia”:Palin

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New York, NY, September 23rd, 2008, (Reuters).- In order to boost her

Sarah Palin with the girl she was assigned to work with in her new geography class. "I wish they had assigned me someone mature and who at least knew the capital of Mexico," said the small girl.

Sarah Palin with the girl she was assigned to work with in her new geography class. "I wish they had assigned me with someone mature and who at least knew what the capital of Mexico is," said the small girl.

foreign relations credentials beyond seeing Russia from her house, the Palin-McCain campaign is having Sarah Palin take a crash course in word leaders by having them parade in front of her in next week’s United Nations General Assembly. She will be able to take notes on the names that are too hard for her to pronounce.

“Well, since I had never met a foreign head of state, like none of the previous vice-presidential candidates in history did, and I had never traveled outside the US until last year when I went to Canada to get some cheap medicines, the Palin-McCain campaign thought it would be a good idea to have a show-and-tell class of world leaders. It certanly beats looking them up in wikipedia,” commented Palin.

The first on the list was US-imposed Afghan President Hamid Karzai. “The encounter went remarcably well. We spoke for hours,” said Palin. “Next time I might even have a translator to find out what he’s telling me.”

Next on the list are (in order of apparition), Colombian president Alvaro Uribe, Georgian president Mikhail Saakashvili, Ukranian president Viktor Yuschenko, Iraqi president Jalal Talibani, Pakistani president Asif Ali Zardari and Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh.

“We thought it’d be important for her to meet the presidents the US placed on the Iraqi and Afghan governments first, as well as the presidents of those countries who provided troops or permissions to use their territories in the Afghanistan and Iraq wars,” said spokesassistant Tracey Schmitt. “After the parade, she will have a quick test on names and color flag matching, but she will be able to use her notes and we don’t count spelling mistakes for the grade.”

Reporters who wanted to see the encounters were banned initially. “We don’t want to get her nervous, so let’s keep the cameras in and the questions out, mmmkay?” had said spokesassistant Tracey Schmitt ealier. When the media refused to give coverage, Schmitt relented “it was all just a misscommunication oopsie, ya really didn’t think I was serious, did ya?”

43 dead in Mexico as drug cartels start salmonella attacks.

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Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, August 18th, 2008, (Notimex).- Mexican drug

Mexican terrorist who has been codenamed, Pique Bin Laden, supposedly resposible for the salmonella outbreak

Mexican terrorist who has been codenamed, Pique Bin Laden, supposedly resposible for the salmonella outbreak

cartels are changing their tactics. Direct assaults with AK-47s are being replaced with subtler salmonella attacks in normal-looking food.

In what has became a new increase of deaths, but not bloodshed, Mexican Sinaloa and Juarez cartels are resorting to food poisoning to send deadly messages to one another in innocent looking tacos.

Last night, 43 different people died of a salmonella attack in different northen Mexican cities, 23 from a taco attack in Ciudad Juarez, 19 from a burrito attack in Monterrey and 1 gringo at El Paso, who couldn’t stand the heat and died from diahrrea.

Violence has increased in Mexico since president Calderon took office and launched a military crackdown on drug cartels.

In  the USA, both the CIA and the FDA are on their toes for any kind of attack against American citizens. “We first suspected the tomatoes because they were red, but it wasn’t until recently that we found the attacks coming from chili,” said El Doctor David Acheson, FDA’s food safety chief.