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“Bush’s presidency has a good, strong record”: Bush

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By the end of the news conference, president Bush was so confident that he even made a racist joke about president Obama.

By the end of the news conference, president Bush was so confident that he even made a racist joke about president Obama.

Washington, D.C., January 12th, 2008, (Reuters).- In a final news conference, which the president called “the ultimate exit interview,” president Bush declared that Bush’s presidency has a good, strong record.

He also commented on other issues that marked his presidency as well as his legacy.

He defended the image of the US overseas and denied that it had been tarnished during his administration. “I dissagree that this assesment that people view America in a dim light. People still understand America stands for freedom, why just a month ago, Arab people were so pleased to see me that they offered their shoes to me.”

He also defended his record on human rights, including imprisonment without a trial of suspected terrorists and use of tough interrogation methods at Guantanamo Bay, as well as overriding civil rights at home in order to obtain local information. “Yes, I did all that, but I just couldn’t let terrorists come into our land and destroy our basic rights.”

Most of all, he spoke about the Iraq war, defending his decisions, “I did what I had to do, there weren’t any mistakes at all. I grant that there weren’t any weapons of mass destruction at all, and there were abuses at the Abu Ghraib prision, but those weren’t mistakes, just things that didn’t go according to plan.”

When asked about the time he claimed victory under a banner with big huge letters reading “mission accomplished,” he explained “We’ve clarified this before, it was a banner put up by the janitor who had finished his working shift that same day. It sent the wrong message to those that will always look for the wrong message.”

He also defended his decision to send an additional 30,000 troops. “The question is, in the long run, will this democracy survive? and that’s going to be a question for future presidents.” It wasn’t clear if was referring to the US or Iraq.

Regarding the response to Katrina, he denied it had been slow. “Don’t tell me the federal response was slow when there were 30,000 people pulled off roofs right after the storm passed. I have heard nothing but congratulations and appreciation from them, while I have never heard a single complaint from the people that died.”

Regarding his involvement of peace in the Middle East, he commented “I laid out a vision of what peace would be like, I think I have advanced the process and now Palestinians and Israelis are closer than ever.”

He also spoke about the US economy’s state as he leaves office. “The fundamentals of our economy are strong.”

Finally, he mentioned what he believes is the most important issue that the next president will face: “An attack on the United States. That’s a much more important issue than the economic crisis, because it’s real and it actually affects American lives. Despite sending the country to wars and ripping apart the US civil rights, America isn’t safe. I wish I could report that’s not the case.”

Meanwhile, a CNN poll revealed that right after the news conference, Bush’s popularity increased a bit. He’s now more popular than chickenpox but still trails behind taxes.

Despite Bush’s promise of a smooth transition, Bush’s First Dog bites reporter.

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Washington, D.C., November 8th 2008, (Reuters).- After the promise of Bush of a smooth

Barney, the incumbent First Dog, speaks about the incident in a press conference. "When it comes to my own safety, I don't need approval of the United Nations."

Barney, the incumbent First Dog, explains the incident in a press conference. "When it comes to my own safety, I don't need approval of the United Nations," he barked.

transition and his pledge to do whatever he can to help the president-elect, Barack Obama, an incident spelled trouble for both teams: Barney, Bush’s First Dog, bit White House reporter Jonathan Black’n’Decker.

Aides of the president on condition of anonymity told the press that Barney had been becoming a rogue lately, and refusing to following orders.

Black’n’Decker interviewed himself about the incident.

“He seemed nice and friendly, but he suddenly became very angry and vicious, much like McCain does. I don’t know what happened to him (the First Dog). It might have been the Republican defeat of last Tuesday, the fact that he’s going to be replaced as First Dog of America or that I had eaten bacon for breakfast and didn’t wash my hands,” Black’n’Decker answered himself to a question he had asked himself about the reasons of the incident.

The White House denied any ill will or bad intentions from the First Dog. “It was just a pre-emptive attack in order to protect the integrity of the First Dog, which then became an effort to liberate Jonathan Black’n’Decker. In any case, we consider it as ‘mission accomplished,'” said White House veterinarian Richard Tubb.