The Press Posted in the Tribune Times

Funny news, trivia news, ironic news, sarcastic news and news news.

Posts Tagged ‘NBC

McCain camp lashes out at Obama’s fellow worldwide celebrities.

leave a comment »

Senator and GOP presidential hopeful John McCain angry because famous people won't answer his calls or invite him to their parties. "I will veto every single beer," he threatened.

Senator and GOP presidential hopeful John McCain angry because famous people won't answer his calls or invite him to their parties. "I will veto every single beer," threatened the candidate.

Denver, CO, August, 25th, 2008, (Reuters).- John McCain’s campaign hit back at Madonna on Sunday after the pop diva kicked off her world tour with a concert that bracketed the US presidential candidate with Adolf Hitler and Robert Mugabe.

It all started when pop queen and diva kicked off her “Crunchy and Munchy” world tour in the Decadium Stadium, in Cardiff, UK,  showing a video that showed McCain along with pictures of dictators Robert Mugabe and Adolf Hitler, as well as videos of war destruction and global warming. The song played during the video was originally going to be “Material girl”, but it was later changed to “Get Stoopid” to avoid controversy.

McCain, who supports the Iraq war surge, the bomb, bomb, bomb-ing of Iran and the drilling of Alaska and opposes the increase in automobile fuel economy and new taxes on oil companies, said the comparison was completely irrelevant.

“The comparisons are outrageous, unacceptable and crudely divisive all at the same time, it makes us want to bomb, bomb, bomb Cardiff, ” McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bombs said in a statement reported by Fox News.

“It clearly shows that when it comes to supporting Barack Obama, his fellow worldwide celebrities refuse to consider any smear or attack off limits, including using videos and commercials that compare his rival with people that have nothing to do with US politics.”

The Worldwide Celebrities Union, which is headed by sexy Angelina Jolie, Michael Phelps and Tom Cruise didn’t answer any calls for comments, as they were too busy watching NBC’s delayed transmission of the Beijing closing ceremony.

Advertisements

Beijing 2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony a success

with 2 comments

Amazing, isn't it?

Amazing, isn't it?

Beijing, China, August 8th, 2008, (Reuters).- The 2008 Olympic games at Beijing opened with a Lavish and stunning ceremony, giving China its much waited opportunity to show its splendor to the world.

Thousands of Chinese and foreigners shouted the countdown at the National Stadium, better known as the “bird’s nest.” Several heads of state were also present, with president George W. Bush dominating the scene. Bush will also participate in the shooting event, in the rifle, pistol and shotgun with moving target categories, being the first American president to participate in Olympic games.

The show was dominated by stunning acrobatics, beautiful dances, extraordinary fireworks, and a sea of drums, all used to show the history of China and what can be done with thousands and thousands of people.

The Parade of Nations started with Greece, and finished with China, as is customary. However, the delegation’s usual alphabetic order was changed to Chinese character’s order. Since none of the other delegations knew how to speak, much less write Chinese, they all had to take their word for it.

The Iraqi delegation was finally allowed to participate in the games, after a reversal of a ban from the International Olympics Committee. However, his 4 athlete delegation was composed of 2 Americans, 1 British and 1 Iraqi. The Americans and British were there to ensure the Iraqi athlete’s freedom, although negotiations are in progres for them to leave sometime before the London Olympics.

The Chinese flag bearer, Mao Ying, was accompanied by a child who survived the Nike sweatshops. The child also helped manufacture the sneakers that Ying was using.

The event was closed with Li Ding running around the top of the stadium, suspended by cables. It was just awesome.

Not everything was good news, though.

A terrorist threat was issued by Islamic radical group, Apul Dah Thrigah, composed of about 150 members. The Chinese authorities responded with the arrest of alleged 50,000 members, thwarting the terrorist plot. Chinese Defense Secretary Gun Pao Der, commented, “we can outdo Americans in everything, even war on terror.”

 

Also, Americans had to miss the live opening ceremony. Olympic games rights owner NBC, decided to forego the live transmission and broadcasted it instead on Friday’s prime time. It is rumored that it was all a prank from Bill Gates and internet providers so people had to switch to watch the games on internet.

On another note, Beijing Residents were told to stay home by the local goverment. In some places, the security went as far as locking parks and blocking streets. Local drunken bum, Lao Zi, commented “I have lived in this park since communism improved my life standards, how can they lock me out?”. Beijing mayor, Wai Yu Shao Ting, explained that the measurement was taken to protect the citizens from themselves, “imagine 10,000 millions of Chinese drivers out at the same time, driving home or to a bar or to the stadium. There would be more dead people than the Tiananmen square massacre, which never happened.