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Posts Tagged ‘Robert Wood

Iraqi government asked American government to stop hiring Blackwater.

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Blackwater's spokeswoman also mentioned the company will continue with its policy of shooting at anyone or anything that is expressed or written in a terrorist language, that is, anything other than English.

Blackwater's spokeswoman also mentioned the company will continue with its policy of shooting at anyone or anything that is expressed or written in a terrorist language, that is, anything other than English.

Baghdad, Iraq, January 29th, 2008, (Reuters).- The government of Iraq sent a memo today to the American embassy asking them to please, please, stop using Blackwater Worldwide as security for their diplomats.

The memo, signed by Iraq’s interior ministry spokesman, Abdul-Karim Khalaf, said “Due to the excessive use of force, improper conduct and specially, the continuous killings of civilians, including children, the Honorable Ministry of the Interior of Iraq, backed by the power invested in it by the people and president of Iraq, hereby order the American authorities to please, please, please, read this memo and if possible, to restrain your goons, just a tiny winy bit.”

The move is the latest response to the controversy resulting after Blackwater mercenaries killed 17 civilians at Nissor square, who asked them if they could please stop destroying their market stands.

The Blackwater mercenaries declared themselves non guilty. “We were just doing our job, clearing the path for the ambassador’s secretary’s officeboy who had gone to get a pizza for his boss. We immediately identified the terrorists’ true nature as they spoke in Arabic and had stands with signs written in some terrorist language,” declared one of them, who asked us to keep his name confidential or he would fill our bodies with lead.

State Department’s spokesman Robert with A Wood declared “We haven’t made a decision yet, but we’re already processing the Iraqi request under our perpetual ignorance file cabinet.”

Blackwater spokesgoon Anne Tyrrell defended the company’s mercenaries. “Our employees did the right thing. They were ambushed by terrorists who shot them from a girls’ school, an ambulance, and a fruit stand, all of which had letters written in a terrorist language, so they clearly had to return fire and a few grenades as well.”

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US slams Russian recognition of breakaway areas. “They’re not ready to be liberated yet,” said Bush.

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To read this article in Russian, go here. Эта статья по-русски:

http://tetarakihi.livejournal.com/9849.html

(Translation courtesy of Tarakihi)

Washington, D.C., August 26th, 2008, (Reuters).- The White House on Tuesday blasted Russia’s formal

The US is already sending its army with humanitarian aid to the area.

The US is already sending its army with humanitarian aid to the area.

recognition of two separatist Georgian provinces, South Ossetia and Abkhazia, calling it “irrational” behavior that is rejected by the world.

White House spokesman Tony Frappuchino said the US would use its veto power on the U.N. Security Council to make sure Russia’s move is “dead as an Afghan”. “The threath of a veto is a valid and brave move as long as it isn’t the French who use it.”

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Russia has no business declaring the provinces independent of U.S.-backed Georgia. “I think it is regrettable, just because they don’t speak Georgian, and their population is not Georgian, and they haven’t been governed by Georgia since the dissolution of the USSR, and they had been invaded by Georgia a couple of weeks ago, doesn’t mean they’re not part of Georgia. This puts Russia in opposition to Security Council resolutions, which is as bad as the invasions of Western Sahara, East Timor, Cyprus, the Palestinian Territories and Iraq, specially as a member of the P-5, which will have to drop Russia and become the Fantastic Four,” explained Rice in a press conference.

State Department spokesman Robert Wood said the U.S. is looking at a variety of options to respond. “We’re not trying to escalate anything, but we obviously can’t allow what Russia’s done to go without there being some consequences. In fact, if our troops weren’t busy invading other countries, we would have already used them to punish Russia for invading other countries.”

After the invasion of South Ossetia by Georgian forces, and the invasion of Georgia by Russian forces, the US sent the missile destroyer USS McFaul to the Georgian port of Batumi, to deliver humanitarian aid.

“Just because it’s a missile destroyer, doesn’t mean it carries missiles, but humanitarian aid. If we had meant to sent weapons, we would have sent a Red Cross vessel,” finished Rice.