Michelle Obama complains about her daughters’ dolls: “We didn’t get any royalties”

Ty Inc. is also releasing in the near future a new doll for its "Pregant Palin" series. It'll be called, "Bristol with Baby," and will have nothing to do with Alaska's governor's daughter.

Washington, D.C., January 27th, 2008, (Reuters).- Michelle Obama expressed her disagreement with the dolls that are being produced and that are named after her daughters, Sasha and Malia.

The new first lady told the press “We believe it is innapropiate to use two young private, totally average citizens for marketing purposes. First, because the election is already over.  Second, because we didn’t get any royalties.”

Ty Inc.’s spokesperson Tania Lundeen told the media “There’s nothing in the dolls that refers to the Obama girls. Just because they are black, represent about the same age as the real Sasha and Malia, and they are called Sasha and Malia, doesn’t mean that they are replications of Sasha and Malia. They have nothing to do with them. Really! Honest! We chose those traits just because they are full of hope and change. ”

She also took the opportunity to make an important announcement, “Most of all, we want to remind you that each dolls is sold for only $9.99, and if you buy both of them, you get a free copy of ‘The audacity of hope’ as a bonus.”

“Yes, Obama and Democrats are ahead by 6%, we’ve got them just where we want them, mwahahahahaha”: McCain.

Virginia Beach, VI, October 13th, 2008, (Reuters).- John McCain has changed

Levi Johnston and Bristol together in a Palin-McCain speech at the Republican Convention. "Fortunatly, Gov. Palin lends us her baby so we can practice parenthood while we have our own," commented Johnston.

his rhetoric, claiming that the Democrat taking an advantage of 6 points and leading in all polls and battleground states has been part of his master plan all along.

“My friends, I have some wonderful news for you. Let me give you the state of the race: We have 22 days to go, we’re six points down, the national media has written us off and Obama and Pelosi are already preparing their clothes for the victory speech. We’ve got them just where we want them, mwahahahahah,” explained the Arizona senator.

“Excellent,” replied millionare and contributor to the Palin-McCain campaign, Montgomery Burns.

Elsewhere on the campaign trail, Levi Johnston, Palin’s future son-in-law, spoke about his future marriage with pregnant minor Bristol Palin.

“We’re both love each other and we both plan to have a happy normal married life. I will drop out of school to give my baby the best. I hope he’s a boy and I look forward to having him. I’m going to take him hunting and fishing and gay bashing,” explained Johnston.

He also said his infamous Myspace page was only a joke. “My friends created it and I had nothing to do with it. In fact, I can’t even use a computer, but Senator McCain and I plan to take internet classes together.”

Regarding his political views, Johnston said he was as clueless on the topic as her future mother-in-law is. “I like that guy Obama, but I’m cheering for the Palin-McCain ticket. I just hope she wins. She’s my future mother-in-law and being in office with take her off my back for some years.”

“Sarah Palin is perfect VP material”; Sarah Palin

St. Paul, MN, September 2nd, 2008, (Reuters).- One day before her speech at

Sarah Palin supports shotguns as mosquito repelents, snowmobile credits for low income families, and making moose hunting season a national holiday.

the Republican convention, Republican Vice President hopeful Sarah Palin sought to ditch the rumors that she doesn’t have the experience to be a vice president and potential president as well as to quiet the rumors about her inability to run her own family.

“I’m excellent VP material,” Palin explained. “I have many qualities that completment McCain’s blanks, for example, a life expectancy of more than 3 years.”

“I also make a very good resources administrator. Why, I have my personal attorney, Van Flein, on the state’s payroll. That’s a savings of $95,000 dollars alone. He will clearly demonstrate to the ethics commission that I don’t mix personal business with state business.”

On the Troopergate, she explained, “the fact that that damn bastard ditched my sister after she gave him the best years of her life, and still has a job, doesn’t mean that I would fire the man that had to fire him. In any case, my personal attorney who I appointed as the state attorney is investigating my case to prove my innocence.”

Regarding her daughter Bristol’s pregancy, she commented, “Well, that just goes to prove that abstinence is the best sex teaching to youngsters. If only it was taught as the only sex option in schools. However, ma princess Bristol and the young man, Levi, that she will marry, are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of great-great-grandda McCain who has already offered them a room in one of his houses,  if only he could remember which.”

Finally, Wasilla Mayor Dianne Keller, added that Palin’s work as former Wasilla Mayor is almost the same as running the country. “The process for running the city of Wasilla is probably much like the process of running our country. You hand out gun licences for bear shooting, authorize mooseburger restaurants and have the Russians a few miles away.”