Beijing closes spectacularly, Wo ai Beijing.

Beijing, China, August 24th, 2008, (Reuters).- Faster, Usain Bolt, Higher,

It's hard to come up with a joke with such a flawless ceremony.

Yelena Isinbayeva, Stronger, Matthias Steiner, and now, more medals, Michael Phelps.

In an spectacular closing ceremony, Beijing 2008 ended in “The Bird’s Nest” two weeks of amazing games with drums, music, art and thousands and thousands of obedient Chinese.

The ceremony started with a countdown in which the numbers were being shown with fireworks in Beijing’s sky, as well as the five olimpic rings. Hundreds of drums started to play in the center of the stadium while two giant drums were also being played while suspended on air. Hundreds of Chinese dancers joined with choreography and vehicles with lights in a show that amazed everyone except the Americans who again had to skip the live transmission and had to wait for NBC’s delayed one.

The nations parade was much more casual and shorter as only one athlete from each country paraded, accompanied by a Chinese guy. Later on, the rest of the athletes that are still in Beijing joined their partners in the spaces that the Chinese left for them.

The medal ceremony for the marathon took place then, with the medals being given by Jacques Rogge, the president of the International Olympics Committee. Samuel Wanjiru from Kenya took gold, Jaouad Gharib from Morrocco took silver and Tsegay Kebede from Ethiopia took bronze. They all seemed Africans to the US audience.

Jacques Rogge said a speech.  “The world has learned about China, and China has learned about the world, and I believe this has been a lot of learning.”

The English were present, in anticipation for the London 2012 games. A double decker bus appeared on stage from which a rather hindi girl came out, who received a soccer ball from a Chinese girl. This ball was later given to Spice Boy Beckham, who shot a penalty with it. One from the many Chinese volunteers caught it though. Led Zepellin’s guitarrist Jimmy Paige was brought all the way from the eldery home so he could pretend he played a Guitar Hero solo. Leona Lewis joined him with the Rock Band vocals. 

A touching moment was when 3 athletes were shown in a plane staircase, giving the impression that they were about to board it. The American Olympic committee filed a protest that their baggages hadn’t been checked for potential terrorist bombs or threaths.

The Chinese gave a show of discipline and coordination by mounting up a tower and giving it life as an olympic torch, using only dancers who were dressed red and silver. 

Afterwards, several modern Chinese singers, along with more dancers and representatives of China’s ethnies, sang to the public. The song “Wo ai Beijing”, which means “we’re not underage at Beijing”, was specially catchy. Jackie Chan also showed up and showed that he can fake singing as well as fighting. Placido Domingo also sang along with Chinese star, Chun Li.

Finally, the sky was again filled with fireworks, which lasted several minutes and brought back the smog that had been absent from Beijing’s sky during the last 2 weeks.

This time, The United States changed the way the medal rankings are calculated, trying new ways, all of which, by mere coincidence, give the US the first place. Instead of letting the number of gold medals decide who the first place is, as has always been done in the olympics and which gives host China first place, the US used total medals, medals per capita and medals in non-judged events systems, which all give the US first place. 

Meanwhile, countries who won their first ever olympic medals, Afghanistan, Bahrain, Mauritius, Sudan, Tajikistan and Togo also claimed their athletes were the best of the world. So did Panama and Mongolia who won their first ever gold medals. They hope to soon begin appearing on maps as well.

Beijing 2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony a success

Amazing, isn't it?

Beijing, China, August 8th, 2008, (Reuters).- The 2008 Olympic games at Beijing opened with a Lavish and stunning ceremony, giving China its much waited opportunity to show its splendor to the world.

Thousands of Chinese and foreigners shouted the countdown at the National Stadium, better known as the “bird’s nest.” Several heads of state were also present, with president George W. Bush dominating the scene. Bush will also participate in the shooting event, in the rifle, pistol and shotgun with moving target categories, being the first American president to participate in Olympic games.

The show was dominated by stunning acrobatics, beautiful dances, extraordinary fireworks, and a sea of drums, all used to show the history of China and what can be done with thousands and thousands of people.

The Parade of Nations started with Greece, and finished with China, as is customary. However, the delegation’s usual alphabetic order was changed to Chinese character’s order. Since none of the other delegations knew how to speak, much less write Chinese, they all had to take their word for it.

The Iraqi delegation was finally allowed to participate in the games, after a reversal of a ban from the International Olympics Committee. However, his 4 athlete delegation was composed of 2 Americans, 1 British and 1 Iraqi. The Americans and British were there to ensure the Iraqi athlete’s freedom, although negotiations are in progres for them to leave sometime before the London Olympics.

The Chinese flag bearer, Mao Ying, was accompanied by a child who survived the Nike sweatshops. The child also helped manufacture the sneakers that Ying was using.

The event was closed with Li Ding running around the top of the stadium, suspended by cables. It was just awesome.

Not everything was good news, though.

A terrorist threat was issued by Islamic radical group, Apul Dah Thrigah, composed of about 150 members. The Chinese authorities responded with the arrest of alleged 50,000 members, thwarting the terrorist plot. Chinese Defense Secretary Gun Pao Der, commented, “we can outdo Americans in everything, even war on terror.”

 

Also, Americans had to miss the live opening ceremony. Olympic games rights owner NBC, decided to forego the live transmission and broadcasted it instead on Friday’s prime time. It is rumored that it was all a prank from Bill Gates and internet providers so people had to switch to watch the games on internet.

On another note, Beijing Residents were told to stay home by the local goverment. In some places, the security went as far as locking parks and blocking streets. Local drunken bum, Lao Zi, commented “I have lived in this park since communism improved my life standards, how can they lock me out?”. Beijing mayor, Wai Yu Shao Ting, explained that the measurement was taken to protect the citizens from themselves, “imagine 10,000 millions of Chinese drivers out at the same time, driving home or to a bar or to the stadium. There would be more dead people than the Tiananmen square massacre, which never happened.