Posts Tagged ‘Afghanistan’
Palin, from the Palin-McCain ticket, takes a fast course in world leaders with REAL world leaders. “More fun than wikipedia”:Palin
New York, NY, September 23rd, 2008, (Reuters).- In order to boost her
foreign relations credentials beyond seeing Russia from her house, the Palin-McCain campaign is having Sarah Palin take a crash course in word leaders by having them parade in front of her in next week’s United Nations General Assembly. She will be able to take notes on the names that are too hard for her to pronounce.
“Well, since I had never met a foreign head of state, like none of the previous vice-presidential candidates in history did, and I had never traveled outside the US until last year when I went to Canada to get some cheap medicines, the Palin-McCain campaign thought it would be a good idea to have a show-and-tell class of world leaders. It certanly beats looking them up in wikipedia,” commented Palin.
The first on the list was US-imposed Afghan President Hamid Karzai. “The encounter went remarcably well. We spoke for hours,” said Palin. “Next time I might even have a translator to find out what he’s telling me.”
Next on the list are (in order of apparition), Colombian president Alvaro Uribe, Georgian president Mikhail Saakashvili, Ukranian president Viktor Yuschenko, Iraqi president Jalal Talibani, Pakistani president Asif Ali Zardari and Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh.
“We thought it’d be important for her to meet the presidents the US placed on the Iraqi and Afghan governments first, as well as the presidents of those countries who provided troops or permissions to use their territories in the Afghanistan and Iraq wars,” said spokesassistant Tracey Schmitt. “After the parade, she will have a quick test on names and color flag matching, but she will be able to use her notes and we don’t count spelling mistakes for the grade.”
Reporters who wanted to see the encounters were banned initially. “We don’t want to get her nervous, so let’s keep the cameras in and the questions out, mmmkay?” had said spokesassistant Tracey Schmitt ealier. When the media refused to give coverage, Schmitt relented “it was all just a misscommunication oopsie, ya really didn’t think I was serious, did ya?”
Beijing closes spectacularly, Wo ai Beijing.
Beijing, China, August 24th, 2008, (Reuters).- Faster, Usain Bolt, Higher,
Yelena Isinbayeva, Stronger, Matthias Steiner, and now, more medals, Michael Phelps.
In an spectacular closing ceremony, Beijing 2008 ended in “The Bird’s Nest” two weeks of amazing games with drums, music, art and thousands and thousands of obedient Chinese.
The ceremony started with a countdown in which the numbers were being shown with fireworks in Beijing’s sky, as well as the five olimpic rings. Hundreds of drums started to play in the center of the stadium while two giant drums were also being played while suspended on air. Hundreds of Chinese dancers joined with choreography and vehicles with lights in a show that amazed everyone except the Americans who again had to skip the live transmission and had to wait for NBC’s delayed one.
The nations parade was much more casual and shorter as only one athlete from each country paraded, accompanied by a Chinese guy. Later on, the rest of the athletes that are still in Beijing joined their partners in the spaces that the Chinese left for them.
The medal ceremony for the marathon took place then, with the medals being given by Jacques Rogge, the president of the International Olympics Committee. Samuel Wanjiru from Kenya took gold, Jaouad Gharib from Morrocco took silver and Tsegay Kebede from Ethiopia took bronze. They all seemed Africans to the US audience.
Jacques Rogge said a speech. “The world has learned about China, and China has learned about the world, and I believe this has been a lot of learning.”
The English were present, in anticipation for the London 2012 games. A double decker bus appeared on stage from which a rather hindi girl came out, who received a soccer ball from a Chinese girl. This ball was later given to Spice Boy Beckham, who shot a penalty with it. One from the many Chinese volunteers caught it though. Led Zepellin’s guitarrist Jimmy Paige was brought all the way from the eldery home so he could pretend he played a Guitar Hero solo. Leona Lewis joined him with the Rock Band vocals.
A touching moment was when 3 athletes were shown in a plane staircase, giving the impression that they were about to board it. The American Olympic committee filed a protest that their baggages hadn’t been checked for potential terrorist bombs or threaths.
The Chinese gave a show of discipline and coordination by mounting up a tower and giving it life as an olympic torch, using only dancers who were dressed red and silver.
Afterwards, several modern Chinese singers, along with more dancers and representatives of China’s ethnies, sang to the public. The song “Wo ai Beijing”, which means “we’re not underage at Beijing”, was specially catchy. Jackie Chan also showed up and showed that he can fake singing as well as fighting. Placido Domingo also sang along with Chinese star, Chun Li.
Finally, the sky was again filled with fireworks, which lasted several minutes and brought back the smog that had been absent from Beijing’s sky during the last 2 weeks.
This time, The United States changed the way the medal rankings are calculated, trying new ways, all of which, by mere coincidence, give the US the first place. Instead of letting the number of gold medals decide who the first place is, as has always been done in the olympics and which gives host China first place, the US used total medals, medals per capita and medals in non-judged events systems, which all give the US first place.
Meanwhile, countries who won their first ever olympic medals, Afghanistan, Bahrain, Mauritius, Sudan, Tajikistan and Togo also claimed their athletes were the best of the world. So did Panama and Mongolia who won their first ever gold medals. They hope to soon begin appearing on maps as well.
Missile system in Poland aimed at Russia not a threat to Russia: Rice
Warsaw, Poland, August 20th, 2008, (Reuters).- The US and Poland
signed a deal to place a US missile system just 115 miles from Russia, which US secretary of State claims does not represent a military threat to Russia.
“Just because it’s next to Russia, and it’s been agreed just after the Russian invasion to Georgia, and it’s right in the Russian sphere of influence, doesn’t mean it represents a threat to Russia. It is in our defense that we do this,” commented Rice.
When asked about further clarification, she replied “why, it’s obvious that if we put a missile system next to Russia, it’s because we’re preparing a defense from an attack from Iran, not Russia.”
With respect to the Russian comments about a possible pre-emptive attack on Poland for accepting the facility, Rice developed, “such comments border on the bizarre, frankly. The Russians are losing their credibility. This is not 1988, it’s 2008. In this age, you just can’t do pre-emptive attacks on countries in order to destroy a weapon system that is not there on the excuse of self-defence without international sanction.”
Poland, like Georgia, has contributed 2,300 soldiers to the Iraq war and 1,600 to Afghanistan. Polish Prime Minister Donald Duck hopes to have a better protection than the former soviet republic. “After what happened to Georgia, we don’t want to fight the Russians with half of our army somewhere else,” he commented.
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