Sarah Palin’s investigation on Sarah Palin finds Sarah Palin innocent of power abuse.

Anchorage, AK, October 10th, 2008, (Reuters).- Sarah Palin was found

Sarah Palin winks to the cam as she announces that she found herself innocent of all charges. "Well, darn it, we sure showed 'em how to conduct a six-pack style investigation, didn't we, fellas?"

innocent by the commision formed by Sarah Palin to investigate the accusation of power abuse which had been filed by Sarah Palin against Sarah Palin.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s officials released their report yesterday that clears Sarah Palin of any wrongdoing in the firing of Stormtrooper Walter Monegan.

Sarah Palin is the subject of a legislative investigation into whether she abused her power as governor by firing her public safety commissioner, Stormtrooper Walter Monegan.  Monegan, says he was dismissed for resisting pressure from Palin’s husband, Todd Palin, to fire state police officer Mike Wooten, Palin’s former brother-in-law, and who, according to Palin “made my sister miserable even though she gave him the best years of her life.”

Lawmakers are expected to release their own findings today. Campaign officials for McCain and Palin said the legislative investigation is filled with partisanship and is politically bent, so it’s not objective or fair anymore.

“Sara Palin’s investigation on Sarah Palin, on the contrary, has nothing to win or at stake politically and therefore, it’s objective, reliable and truthful. By the way, Sarah Palin found Sarah Palin innocent,” commented McCain spokesman Taylor Griffin, who distributed the campaign’s report.

Griffin said the report was written by the McCain-Palin campaign staff and based on public filings and interviews with a completly unattached and objective witness: Todd Palin.

“Sarah Palin is perfect VP material”; Sarah Palin

St. Paul, MN, September 2nd, 2008, (Reuters).- One day before her speech at

Sarah Palin supports shotguns as mosquito repelents, snowmobile credits for low income families, and making moose hunting season a national holiday.

the Republican convention, Republican Vice President hopeful Sarah Palin sought to ditch the rumors that she doesn’t have the experience to be a vice president and potential president as well as to quiet the rumors about her inability to run her own family.

“I’m excellent VP material,” Palin explained. “I have many qualities that completment McCain’s blanks, for example, a life expectancy of more than 3 years.”

“I also make a very good resources administrator. Why, I have my personal attorney, Van Flein, on the state’s payroll. That’s a savings of $95,000 dollars alone. He will clearly demonstrate to the ethics commission that I don’t mix personal business with state business.”

On the Troopergate, she explained, “the fact that that damn bastard ditched my sister after she gave him the best years of her life, and still has a job, doesn’t mean that I would fire the man that had to fire him. In any case, my personal attorney who I appointed as the state attorney is investigating my case to prove my innocence.”

Regarding her daughter Bristol’s pregancy, she commented, “Well, that just goes to prove that abstinence is the best sex teaching to youngsters. If only it was taught as the only sex option in schools. However, ma princess Bristol and the young man, Levi, that she will marry, are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of great-great-grandda McCain who has already offered them a room in one of his houses,  if only he could remember which.”

Finally, Wasilla Mayor Dianne Keller, added that Palin’s work as former Wasilla Mayor is almost the same as running the country. “The process for running the city of Wasilla is probably much like the process of running our country. You hand out gun licences for bear shooting, authorize mooseburger restaurants and have the Russians a few miles away.”