Paul McCarney announces his plans to marry in the Colbert Report. “All I need is Love”, McCartney.

When asked if he was afraid of another costly divorce with his new fiancée, the ex-beatle said "We can work it out."

New York, NY, January 28, 2009, (Reuters).- Ex-beatle Paul McCarntey appeared on “the Colbert Report,” answering questions to Stephen Colbert about his love life (McCartney’s, not Colbert’s).

Question: How did you get over the death of Linda, your first wife?

Answer: Obladi, oblada, life goes on.

Q: How did your second wife, Heather Mills, declared her love for you?

A: Baby, you’re a rich man.

Q: What did you tell her when she asked so much money for the divorce?

A: You never give me your money.

Q: What did you tell your lawyer about it?

A: Help!

Q: What did he tell you?

A: You’re going to lose that girl.

Q: Where is she now?

A: Back in the U.S.S.R.

Q: How did you feel after losing so much money in the divorce?

A: The fool on the hill.

Q: Do you regret that marriage?

A: I should have known better.

Q: Is there a lesson to that experience?

A: Can’t buy me love.

Q: How did you meet your current girlfriend, socialite Nancy Shevell?

A: She came in through the bathroom window.

Q: How did you find her?

A: I saw her standing there.

Q: How did you declare your love to her?

A: Love, love me do.

Q: Why do you want to marry her?

A: I’ve got a feeling and I love her.

Q: Where does your fiancée like to have sex?

A: Here, there and everywhere.

Q: Really? and how often does she want it?

A: Eight days a week.

Q: How do you manage to have sex at your age?

A: With a little help from my friends.

Q: How was sex with Linda?

A: Twist and shout.

Q: How was it with Heather?

A: Honey, don’t.

Q: And with Nancy?

A: A hard day’s night.

Q: Do you still take drugs?

A: Everybody’s got something to hide.

Q: What do you do when you have to appear in public after taking drugs?

A: Act naturally.

Q: Do past acquaintances or even total strangers ever try to claim they’re your offspring in order to rip you off your money?

A: Everybody’s trying to be my baby.

Q: Finally, is there something you’d like to say to your fans?

A: Happiness is a warm gun.

Beatles’ music to be featured in “Rock Band: The Beatles.”

Liverpool, UK, October 30th, (Reuters).- The Beatles’ music will be featured in the next version of the

The band had originally signed with RedOctane to produce a Guitar Hero game, but the guitars wouldn't stop weeping gently.

higly popular music video game Rock Band, produced by MTV Games and Harmonix. The game is expected to be released early next year.

Its original title was going to be “Rock Band: More famous than Jesus,” then it was changed to “Rock Band: British Invasion,” and then to “Rock Band: Sargent Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Band Club.” However, since it was still considered too politically incorrect for the American market, they decided to settle for “Rock Band: The Beatles.”

Surviving Beatles members, Paul McCartney and Ringo Star commented on the videogame.

They claimed that there’s a huge market fo the game: thousands and thousands of nerds without a girlfriend, “All the lonely people, where do they come from?” they explained.

Regarding the royalties they would get, Paul McCartney said “I really don’t care too much for money, for money can’t buy me love. But I’m willing to share what we get with Ringo.” To which Ringo complained, “you never give me your money.”

They also explained that they never thought producing a videogame would be so much work. “You know, it’s been a hard day’s night and we’ve been working like a dog. And recordings are held eight days a week, but it’ll be worth it because players will be able to play Rock’n’Roll music any old way they choose it,” Ringo Starr said.

The game can already be pre-ordered through internet at a launch price of £4,500. The price is expected to go down in the future. So far, only a lad from Attica called Chapman has pre-ordered it. He said he wants to play it when he gets home, that is approximately, when he’s 64.